Is Making Great Conversation an Inherited Trait or a Skill You Cultivate

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Is Making Great Conversation an Inherited Trait or a Skill You Cultivate

Author: David Smith | Total views: 59 | Word Count: 949 | Category: Psychology | Date: Feb 3rd 2007

Search for: conversation, effortless small talk, conversation skills, make great conversation

Some people just seem to have the gift of gab making
the notion of small talk, effortless indeed.
Meanwhile, others seem too never know quite what to
say in any given situation, relying on one-word
responses that are conversation killers. When
studying this dilemma, two things come to the
forefront. Why are some people gifted in creating
small talk and putting their conversation partner at
ease while others are painfully inept at this concept
Also, is this skill and lack of skill, inherent, or is
it a skill that can be cultivated and perfected

To the second question I respond, Both.

For as far back as mankind has been communicating, we
know that the lack of communication or the
inefficiencies in communication have always been
barriers to effective communication. Whats
interesting is, after all of these years, as our
societies have developed we now have more forms of
media with which to convey our thoughts and ideas than
ever before in the history of mankind. However, I
would propose that effective communication has
suffered. Perhaps, we have too much to say today.
But, yet, even in this world of miscommunication,
there are those who transcend and are able to
effectively communicate with others. What is their
secret and can it be developed by others, the less
fortunate, the effective communication challenged

We know that the effortless communicators did not
develop their skills while attending mandatory public
schools in the United States. Never before has such
an important concept (i.e. effective communication)
been so neglected in our public education.
Nevertheless, these more than small talk makers
consistently excel and develop contacts, network lists
and grow businesses all out of their skills in
effective communication. But, it had nothing to do
with what was learned at school. However, most of the
great communicators had one big thing on their
sideMama and Daddy. Most effective communicators
grew up understanding that as a people, we are in this
thing together. So, you have to build relationships.
Mama and Daddy did it and junior watched the process
and subliminally absorbed the process. Junior was in
effect, indoctrinated into this process.

So, where does that leave us, the small talk goofs,
whose parents, were more reserved, perhaps even shy
and did not see the benefits in social networking
Does that mean we have no hope in growing into
effective communicators

Not at all.

In fact, Ive listed below 10 ideas and suggestions
for developing your small talk skills:

· Don't bring up the subjects of politics or religion,
unless you're into the melee scene.
· Hit the thesaurus daily. Take a couple of minutes
each day for a month and think of some of the more
mundane :) words you use each day and use the
thesaurus to replace these words in your everyday
language. I'm telling you, the difference between an
average vocabulary and an impressive vocabulary is
only about 50-75 words. Hint: don't go overboard,
you don't want to overwhelm or turn-off your
conversation partner.
· Don't make fun of others. Conversation giants don't
gloat over the gaffes of others, we're not in middle
school anymore.
· Constantly do new things in your life. This can be
something as simple as taking a new route home from
work once a week. What does this do It gives you a
new perspective on things and it helps build your
creativity.
· Smile. But not too quickly or too much.
Universally, the smile is the number one communication
expression of the human race. It transcends languages
which is a true testament to its power and
effectiveness. Used too quickly or too often and it
certainly loses its allure.
· Be positive. Negative small talk or just negative
conversation at any level is a big DRAG!! Negativity
is the quickest way to earn a "poo-poo" reputation.
· Stay away from cliches. I suppose one might be ok
in certain circumstances but cliches are often used
and used and used. Plus, everybody has heard them and
you want to be interesting.
· Keep a journal. How boring you say The reason why
you would want to keep a journal is to write down
interesting stories and events that have taken place
in your life. Re-visit the journal every couple of
days and you'll be amazed at the stories captured in
the journal. These stories make for great and
effortless small talk.
· Get out and talk to all kinds of people. I realize
that for some shyness may very well be one of the
limiting factors. But you've got to start sometime.
Plus, talking with various people will help you gain a
new perspective on the thoughts and mental processes
of others.
· Build others up. For the love of Pete, don't talk
about yourself ad nauseum. Prod others into talking
about themselves, you'll be surprised at how much
people love doing this and the great thing is, you
just have to listen. And you're a "Giant" in their
eyes.

These are just a few of hundreds of exercises you can
do to develop your conversation skills. Remember,
effective communication and effortless small talk are
both skills that can be developed, honed and sharpened
in order to mold us into excellent communicators.

Article Source: ArticleSoft.com

About the Author

Brett Jonson is an author, freelance writer and businessman with many years experience in business communications. His main goal is to help others improve their conversation and small talk skills thus laying the groundwork for developing more meaningful business and personal relationships. For more information please visit his site at www.effortless-small-talk.com

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Some people just seem to have the gift of gab making 
the notion of small talk, effortless indeed. 
Meanwhile, others seem too never know quite what to 
say in any given situation, relying on one-word 
responses that are conversation killers. When 
studying this dilemma, two things come to the 
forefront. Why are some people gifted in creating 
small talk and putting their conversation partner at 
ease while others are painfully inept at this concept 
Also, is this skill and lack of skill, inherent, or is 
it a skill that can be cultivated and perfected 
 
To the second question I respond, Both. 
 
For as far back as mankind has been communicating, we 
know that the lack of communication or the 
inefficiencies in communication have always been 
barriers to effective communication. Whats 
interesting is, after all of these years, as our 
societies have developed we now have more forms of 
media with which to convey our thoughts and ideas than 
ever before in the history of mankind. However, I 
would propose that effective communication has 
suffered. Perhaps, we have too much to say today. 
But, yet, even in this world of miscommunication, 
there are those who transcend and are able to 
effectively communicate with others. What is their 
secret and can it be developed by others, the less 
fortunate, the effective communication challenged 
 
We know that the effortless communicators did not 
develop their skills while attending mandatory public 
schools in the United States. Never before has such 
an important concept (i.e. effective communication) 
been so neglected in our public education. 
Nevertheless, these more than small talk makers 
consistently excel and develop contacts, network lists 
and grow businesses all out of their skills in 
effective communication. But, it had nothing to do 
with what was learned at school. However, most of the 
great communicators had one big thing on their 
sideMama and Daddy. Most effective communicators 
grew up understanding that as a people, we are in this 
thing together. So, you have to build relationships. 
Mama and Daddy did it and junior watched the process 
and subliminally absorbed the process. Junior was in 
effect, indoctrinated into this process. 
 
So, where does that leave us, the small talk goofs, 
whose parents, were more reserved, perhaps even shy 
and did not see the benefits in social networking 
Does that mean we have no hope in growing into 
effective communicators 
 
Not at all. 
 
In fact, Ive listed below 10 ideas and suggestions 
for developing your small talk skills: 
 
· Don't bring up the subjects of politics or religion, 
unless you're into the melee scene. 
· Hit the thesaurus daily. Take a couple of minutes 
each day for a month and think of some of the more 
mundane :) words you use each day and use the 
thesaurus to replace these words in your everyday 
language. I'm telling you, the difference between an 
average vocabulary and an impressive vocabulary is 
only about 50-75 words. Hint: don't go overboard, 
you don't want to overwhelm or turn-off your 
conversation partner. 
· Don't make fun of others. Conversation giants don't 
gloat over the gaffes of others, we're not in middle 
school anymore. 
· Constantly do new things in your life. This can be 
something as simple as taking a new route home from 
work once a week. What does this do It gives you a 
new perspective on things and it helps build your 
creativity. 
· Smile. But not too quickly or too much. 
Universally, the smile is the number one communication 
expression of the human race. It transcends languages 
which is a true testament to its power and 
effectiveness. Used too quickly or too often and it 
certainly loses its allure. 
· Be positive. Negative small talk or just negative 
conversation at any level is a big DRAG!! Negativity 
is the quickest way to earn a "poo-poo" reputation. 
· Stay away from cliches. I suppose one might be ok 
in certain circumstances but cliches are often used 
and used and used. Plus, everybody has heard them and 
you want to be interesting. 
· Keep a journal. How boring you say The reason why 
you would want to keep a journal is to write down 
interesting stories and events that have taken place 
in your life. Re-visit the journal every couple of 
days and you'll be amazed at the stories captured in 
the journal. These stories make for great and 
effortless small talk. 
· Get out and talk to all kinds of people. I realize 
that for some shyness may very well be one of the 
limiting factors. But you've got to start sometime. 
Plus, talking with various people will help you gain a 
new perspective on the thoughts and mental processes 
of others. 
· Build others up. For the love of Pete, don't talk 
about yourself ad nauseum. Prod others into talking 
about themselves, you'll be surprised at how much 
people love doing this and the great thing is, you 
just have to listen. And you're a "Giant" in their 
eyes. 
 
These are just a few of hundreds of exercises you can 
do to develop your conversation skills. Remember, 
effective communication and effortless small talk are 
both skills that can be developed, honed and sharpened 
in order to mold us into excellent communicators. Article Source: <a href="http://www.articlesoft.com" target="_blank">ArticleSoft.com</a> About the Author: Brett Jonson is an author, freelance
writer and businessman with many years experience in
business communications. His main goal is to help
others improve their conversation and small talk
skills thus laying the groundwork for developing more
meaningful business and personal relationships. For
more information please visit his site at <a href="http://www.effortless-small-talk.com">
www.effortless-small-talk.com</a>

Tags: conversation, effortless small talk, conversation skills, make great conversation