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How To Tell If She Is Really Committed To The Relationship


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Author: Cucon Pemo | Total views: 60 | Word Count: 826 | Category: Relationships | Date: Dec 27th 2006

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So youve found the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. The problem is, how do you know if she feels the same way about you You may also be wondering if shes really the one for you. There are a few question you can ask to determine if the time is right to take the plunge:

1. How long have you been together Every relationship has its own unique ebb and flow, but relationship experts have found that it usually takes about two years for a couple to fully commit to each other and begin whats called the negotiation phase of the relationship the period in which youve both gotten to know each other so well that youre battling out what you will and wont live with while trying to hang onto your individual identities. Interestingly, statistics show that most couples get married after knowing each other for only 18 months, so its no wonder so many newlyweds fight like cats and dogs! If youve only been together a few months, its too soon to decide for sure that this is a lifetime relationship its certainly worth thinking about, but dont jump the gun.

2, Are you ready to commit Make sure youre absolutely certain that youre ready to settle down before you worry about what shes feeling. Think about what youre giving up sleeping in on weekends, all night video game sessions, beer with the guys, dating other women, drinking milk straight out of the carton and weight it against everything that youll get from a long term relationship with her. If you have any regrets about giving up your single lifestyle, then youre not ready.

3. Is she ready to commit This shouldnt be too hard to figure out. Does she leave a toothbrush at our apartment and feels comfortable cooking in your kitchen Has she introduced her to her family and friends Does she gaze longingly at babies in strollers when the two of you go out for lunch Then shes ready to commit. On the other hand, if she hasnt given up going out with other men, has never brought you round to meet her parents and insists that you dont leave any of your stuff at her place, shes probably not ready.

4. Is she commitment-phobic A obsessive aversion to commitment is usually thought to be an entirely male problem, but women suffer from it, too. Experts point out that women exhibit it in different ways from men mainly by repeatedly getting involved with men who are unavailable to them. If the woman you love has a history of dating men who are married, or gay, or who treat her badly and break her heart, you may be involved with a commitment-phobe. If she picks fights with you whenever your relationship starts to settle down and become comfortable, that could be another sign. She could have come from a home with parents who made marriage seem unappealing, or she may just be attracted to the drama of new romance followed by the inevitable break-up. But if shes not ready, that can be a problem if youre sure that shes the one for you.

5. Are you willing to be patient If the lady you love really is a commitment-phobe, you have two choices you can stick around and hope that shell change her mind, or you can find someone else. You have to ask yourself whats more important to you, to be in a committed relationship, or to be in a relationship with her no matter what form it takes. If your heart belongs to her and you want to stick it out, then be realistic about what that means. It may take months or years for her to come around to where shes ready to fully commit to a relationship during which time, youll have a number of fights as you adapt to your situation, and she may go out with other men. And ultimately you may not be the man she chooses its not unusual for a man to stand by patiently waiting for a commitment-phobic woman to come around, only to have her fall in love and marry someone else.

If you truly love someone, you should try to negotiate a relationship thats satisfying for both of you. But if one of you wants to get married, settle down and raise a family and the other person isnt ready to do that, theres not much you can do besides be patient and hope for the best. You may find that the best solution is to put your own expectations on hold, and accept that not every great love affair ends in long-term commitment. Enjoy your time together, love her for who she is, and perhaps youll get your wish and shell commit to a lifetime of happiness.

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